I have a poor memory,so I make lots of notes. I use a carrier pigeon to deliver my notes. I don’t have anyone to send the note to, so the pigeon just comes back to me. I usually forget what’s on the note,so it’s always a nice surprise. Like Christmas everyday. I’m just sending […]
I’m only asking as I just discovered a half inch square piece of cheese. The last time I ate cheese was last Sunday. Since then I must have seen several hundred people. I was wearing pants everyday but one. Not one single person mentioned the cheese in my hair. Fear of offence I’m not […]
According to Churchill – I have reached the pinnacle. The only difference between us has been levels of achievement. I still put on my T-shirts back to front. I occasionally put my slippers on the wrong feet deliberately. In terms of efficiency and restricting unnecessary activity, I am the master. But lets look at another […]
Struggling with your weight? Welcome to the Good News Club Good news : Winking is exercise. I close my eyes at 9pm open them again at 8am. 1 Wink. If I have a nap that’s 2 winks a day. Double the calorie burn. Please consult a Doctor before beginning a new exercise regime. […]
Laugh Your challenge today, is to laugh if you think it’s funny. In real life, automatically you react socially. If something touches you as funny, at a funeral perhaps, you try and suppress a smile. Often this can be dismissed from your mind without you even realising. Relax, no-one is watching – you can still laugh. […]
Follow the unfortunate : They have more to teach you and you can laugh at them to make yourself feel better. This is pure Schadenfreude. From the German for sausage-stealer. To steal someone’s sausages is the colloquial expression for deflating someone’s balloon while blowing into your own. Lowering their status and increasing your personal […]
In universal time, the death of Tim Willow is imminent. Will a new star shine in the sky when he dies? Will anyone see it? Or will the world have drowned itself in a sea of tears? You will find out soon enough. A bit like Martin Luther King, I had a dream… Tim […]
Conversation can be difficult. You want to join in but not to dominate. You want to let people know you’re interested – even if you aren’t. You can’t use maths to average the sound emission duration for each person and make a calculation of your expected noise contribution on the fly. Been there,done that. You […]
You know, I meet young people, and they want to act and they want to be famous, and I tell them, when you get to the top of the tree, there’s nothing up there. Most of this is nonsense, most of this is a lie. Accept life as it is. Just be grateful to […]
I got parked early at the hospital,which was unusual and headed straight in. The nurses and hospital staff take up most of the spaces. The further you walk into the belly of the beast, its more a progression of waiting rooms. The main waiting room, its’s really hard to tell what is wrong with people. […]
The rebel fish 