I’m a chair thinking of the black death


My Granddad was a brush.

My mother in Law was ketchup.

I was always a chair.

The more I analyse this, the more I realise that hardly anybody is a chew.

Nor are they a tissue.

Even though the act of doing it describes what you need at the same time.


A  word that sounds like the sound it is describing is onomatopeic

Like the ketchup of my mother in laws sneeze, the boing of a young mans desire and the pop of my eyeballs when my wife makes me a cup of tea.

blue human eye
Photo by “Ismy Pointofview” on Pexels.com

One similar word, that crosses international boundaries is Gezundheit

it’s made up of the word gesund, which means healthy, and the suffix ­–heit, which means –hood. Literally, “healthy-hood.”

Time to reveal my Demands

Our  earthly resources are limited.

You know how to waste them as well as me.

It’s time for change.

I demand a single sound word for the sneeze is adopted.

The campaign would be completely frivolous and stupid.

A better use of resources than all the other stupid stuff we’re currently doing.

May I suggest the word “chair?”

I could then achieve global fame for uniting the world with a sneeze.

The Nobel peace prize would be given to me for  :-

  1. Offering everybody a “chair.”
  2.  Taking sarcasm and irony to new levels.


What is your sneeze sound?

Tim Willows Additional Thoughts

The German onomatopoeic word for sneeze is Hatschi

All this talk of sneezes reminds me of the  glory days of the black death in England.

One of the major symptoms of the plague was a sneeze,encapsulated in the poem

Ring a ring of rosies.
A pocket full of posies.
‘Attishoo!!, attishoo!!.
We all fall down


In the great plague of London in 1665 one quarter of the population died.

Even though we could frame that as a disaster.

Property prices were affordable for most peasants.


Imagine that joy of owning property, lifting yourself and your family out of poverty.

A peasant dreams,imagines all that life could be and makes it real.

The year after the plague, 1666, was the great fire of London.

Property prices were even cheaper.

Back to Purity

Normal life resumes for the peasant.

Perhaps picking up ‘pure’ on the streets of London.

42 thoughts on “I’m a chair thinking of the black death

  1. My personal sneeze sound is entirely dependent upon the violence of the sneeze itself and how much warning it had given of its impending arrival. Plenty of warning and there will be a delicate little ‘snou’; a sudden arrival will result in a nasal explosion of simply deafening proportions.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m a violent sneezer, because that’s what sneezes are for…. expelling. It’s very nature is explosive. Those sissy little buttercups who stifle sneezes to sound more lady like? A personal pet peeve. Women of the world unite! Embrace your sneeze!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. A silent ahh, followed by an ear-splitting choo that scare the ketchup outta people.

    Have you done something different with your hair? You don’t look your usual self.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. As part of your campaign for the chair leaders I suggest you employ the services of the Pope. I believe (not really!) that he has much experience of consoling chairers after their expulsions, although his utterances are a rather blasé “Bless you!” As to my personal sneeze performances, and, believe me, they are mighty performances……. I like to work up to the final act, as if I am practicing….Ah, 3 breaths, ah, 2 breaths, agh, 4 breaths, ARGGH, by now purple of face, and now we work towards the “let’s play trains”, ARGGH……..CHOOOO!
    All a bit of a let down don’t you think? I have thought of going for the Chinese version, and finishing with ARGGH…….SO!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

    Liked by 1 person

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